long time no post's post yeah~

it's been bout 6 months since my last post, no matter whether there's someone or people're waiting for my latest post, hereby i would like to apologize for keeping all of ya so long =(
apparently, not to give excuses yet there're been lot of thgs happening ard n due to my laziness etc had caused such absentees of the post. and okay, no wasting time n allow me to share some exps or summary of my life since last time till lately=)
1st, i've done with my diploma when april and well, to show how unsteady-minded i am, i would like to announced tat until now i'm still thking whether to continue the study or etc...
2nd, had great times wif some of my frenx during their trips with me in my hometown n taiwan. wish that could have those exps agn in future=)(esp: snorkelin n diving exps)
3rd, having quite high desperation in getting a gf or wife..=.=!! wonder why..lol
4th, facing some sort of health probs of mine...well, hope can get better soon asap..haha
5th, happy to hear tat she got a bf =) hope she being happy wif him alwix XD cheers~
6th, also last but not least, havin high desperation in modifying some sort of thgs of cars...and well, 2 sound systems of 2 cars had been modified somehow...wonderin if will continue to make them better or not..swt~
so...it's very simple n str8 to point summary of these 6 mths life right?=) well then till nex time XD~

it's doesn't even matter..

Hey yo~^^ new post posted~
here it goes:
It doesn't even matter
Either way you are
As long it's the way you are
You're gonna always so amazing
Whether people like it or not
Always remember that it's important
To love yourself and
For sure
Someone's gonna like you
No matter what way you are
As it doesn't even matter!!
Come on...lalala~

it seems ntg yet kinda busy =S

hey there, gues its been a while for me till now finally have the idea abt wat to type =)
well, 1st, ever since before cny, it seemed like my luck was not so well yet kinda bad such as especially my monetary issue T.T It's rare for me having such issue as when I saw my account is drying out while some so-called "toll" keep sucking my money at the same time...and then I noticed, seriously it's a pain to take care a car etc....and just a car oni, not even with wife or children (though I'm stil single), I'm already having migraine of how to continue the life dy....somehow now, as for now larrr.....maybe single's life not bad also~hehe...no nid buy those presents or some others stuffs for the other one or maybe eat with the other one....however, seriously, as a person who's been single since he was born, the desperation level of having a girlfriend is indeed f**king high =.=!!
2nd, now is the moment tat can be considered as the middle stage of my last chapter of my diploma story. honestly, never expect it's a term tat gives me the highest stress level even it doesnt have the highest number of subjects to be learnt n so n so....can say tat oni one assignment can send me to the lowest level of the mountain....well..or maybe defined as hopeless? @.@
3rd, had my 1st foreign country trip in my life and the 1st forein country visited was taiwan. basically the trip was quite nice jz tat maybe i'm too emo or other influences, for me tat time was like "ntg" yet seriously afterall,on the other hand, i felt tat the trip was kinda interesting...kinda conflict isn't ....ahh...i'm so blur n lost @.@ ^^n one thg for me to share is taiwan is the place tat having better lifestyle yet the spending power is high as well. if one cant control the spending, for sure the money will never be enough to0 be used no matter how much one owns...
well, gues tats all for now, hope tat after tis post, my life mayb can go easier?? hehe....be happyn positive for me n everyone.....and last but nt least,
hope you don't mind....HAPPY BELATED CNY N VALENTINE'S DAY!!!=)

It's killling me

Urgh! They've been kinda tough weeks to pass through...since the 1st week of class, and now the 4th week, which means, there're assignments that given since then are reaching the deadline--this friday!!! And OMG, didn't even touch a single fur of them!! What I've been doing lately?? NTG?? Ridiculous! Dang! Gonna figure out somehow and hopefully can finish by tmr which is Monday as it's an OFF day I suppose...
On wednesday, it was supposingly a quite nice day yet some shits happened and spoiled my mood. The idiot so-called-University management!! F.U! Never saw a sucks "high-class?" management before... Last minute announce that need to pass up this and that and WHAT?? Due by that day 5p.m.??!!! And it's 4.30p.m.!! How the heck I "blink" out all those stuffs to you, faggots-.- Asked why the shit happened yet only get the answer, "Oh, we have upload it on the portal just don't know what's wrong with the server...So don't blame us and yourself. We've done our parts and it's understandable that you students don't know about this. Nevermind, we postponed it till Friday before 12p.m. :)" ..."How about those back home ones?"..."No worries, tmr is thursday and public holiday, sure got lots of time to do those things and now the management is trying to re-upload the files."....(silent)"How the hell they do the job while all go for holiday tmr?" I asked myself. (Well, just see on it.)
As what "somehow" my prediction, the portal still the same as usual-shitting downgrading?- should I call....whatever, I've planned to go to campus the next day in early morning.
Seriously, don't ever try to do this if you're the type can't stand still after just having 1 1/2hr slp, I slpt at ard 5 am? Then I woke at ard 6.30am.Seriously you won't feel the zombieness till ard noon time. And then, I can't stand anymore and went home to get more slp. Well, that day's not my day-.- The car somehow slightly banged by another noob car. Only license "P" yet still wan doo those shitty things and banged me. Well, I saw from the side mirror and seems ntg wrg thus I just str8ly went home while tat shit noob car slowed down.
That day, I'm supposed to have classes from 2.30pm. but I guessed I made wrong investment and caused me skipping them until the evening kitchen class. Before I went to campus again, I tried to check on car again...Shit!! my car's hurt...cabai...couldn't notice from side mirror yet when taking closer look, that's kinda hurt...-.-If got the chance and I still rmb, gotta do something about it before return the car to my bro...
Kinda refreshing when I reached the campus yet met with a lecturer who I supposed to attend his class??!! Well, I "explain" the reason to him and thanks God he let me go...Then, the kitchen class started. Overall, shitty result for me was all I can said....Argh....feels like everthing's killing me T.T
And lately, lady luck seems like no longer with me or should I say that never with me? Somehow, 3rd tide's coming soon on me??? GAHHHHH NO~~~~~.~ How many times would I be trapped then I really fed up and giv up???!!!!! This is really something's wrong man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

destroyed?

just pass through the 1st week of the last chapter of diploma story. PHEW.....diu....feels like my confidence had lost!!!OMG to myself~ 1st, kithcen practical class, stress and other negatives conditions were expected before it yet never thought it would even have the potential to destroy me!!! ARGH... and 2nd which was also the last for now, a really other GODLIKE thing or mission to do--entrepreneurship....man! never know that it would soooo challengings---10 pages for 5 questions only for the assessment 1, and then the business plan. from what i know so far from the class, this time will be a GG? darn....really felt that i'm goona be destriyed...can i really pass through this last chapter and then graduate peacefully?? :(

HELLO

say HELLO to last chapter of Diploma story; say HELLO to my friends again after 1-week-termbreak; say HELLO to stress; say HELLO to whole new self and TO whole new self, "are you there?" XD

DELETE...Goodbye

Woohoo, finally term 5 final assessment had ended, and seriously HOPE CAN PASS hehe~
And 1-week-termbreak starts. Feels like it's gonna quite "fullfilled?" as if not wrong, this year's ending, so hardly can see my family n I will welcome 2011 at West M'sia. Of course, all come for my granpa's birthday!! haha...HAPPY BDAY TO MY GRANPA!
Btw, this term concluded kinda sad I think. Since term 4, it's kinda complex or hard to say I'd got a feeling on someone. Then during that term, I failed. That time, I decided to forget it yet when came to this term-term 5, thought I would change the way to treat her as friend since found that she's kinda lonely in the class (can said I thought too much, but then seriously, human can't just simply delete the feelings as long he/ she alive and got the feelings on others eh...
Which meant, I falled again, to the hole, deepy and uncontrollable. Just couldn't stop see her status on FB, updates on blog or what-so-ever related therewith, just like drug addictor. And whenever she replied the messages, I felt so happy and those times were the times I felt motivated and "alive".
I thought i would have a chance again. Yet due to last experience, my style and some circumtances, I had the struggles in the mind and heart. Desire and desperation (should I said, had won.
Then, as we can never know what's the others' thinkings, same goes to me. She was so "uncatchable", sometimes good in mood, sometimes kinda anger/ moody. And lately, found that she had some kind like "unnerving" problems perhaps? That's when I started again my thoughts, was I the one made her feel unnerving? ARGH...well....Then, something happened. And maybe I had somehow knew it or prepared for it which that thing would gonna happened somehow, as also because of my fault on annoying after my consideration on my actions those times, I did something.
I knew I wouldn't be able to forget her or stop thinking her. Thus, I tried this, maybe as my last option and it's rare or first time for me to do those. I deleted her number, FB and msn contact so hopefully I can forget about her by not noticing any of her latest news or whatever.
I knew my heart was raining and separating into pieces when I did those things yet I had to. BECAUSE maybe her style was just not suitable with mine even my everthing was so in her already. Oh God, if she was not meant to be with me, please assist me in anyways k! Or else I knew that whenever she has a single simple motive of contact with me in future, I may even fall again and trapped in the blackhole and it will be more tragic if the fact is "I'm just a tool for her".
SERIOUSLY HOPE THAT'S A UNRETURNABLE GOODBYE TO HER AND FORGIVE MY COWARDNESS OR WHATSOEVER THAT I'D DONE....

Few more days to end term 5

Really...time passes real fast. Until now, it's few more days to say "bye bye" to term 5 and followed by one-week-term-break then start the last term of diploma---term 6. Guess it's gonna be a challenging term. Can graduate or not will be depended on this coming term 6's final exam. Yet before that, have to survive through this coming final assessment to conclude the term 5's life.
Rewinding the memories, though the life of diploma costs only for 2 and 1/2 years to finish, a short duration I bet, but somehow feel that the life of diploma is more exciting? memoriable? compared to my secondary school life as that costed 6 years. So can know that it doesn't matter how long the moment we're having together but the most matter with us is how we create more memoriable things.
Thus, seriously, feeling freaking sad when comes to think that going to graduate in no longer future since may be not really available to meet the colleagues in future as everyone will have their own paths to go on...
Some of them may continue for further like degree and so on while some of them may straightly start working or travelling more places. As for me, I'm still not really sure what shall I do after this diploma life. Should I continue? Work? Travel to see more things I never see before? I don't really know...
Besides, since the last time freaking long moment of keeping someone in the heart while that someone with the another, I don't feel motivated in my life. Maybe I'm too eager to be loved or concerned. Somehow kinda hate this "me". Yet lately, there's one that I seriously supposed to let go or forget or give up quite a moment ago, I found that she's unforgettable. She used to be the one of my hatred list? But now feel soulless when she absents or etc. Somemore, starting to feel motivated by just looking the smile or wat so ever. Also, don't know since when, feaking scared and worry if she is upset? mad? or...?
However, i guess my characteristics still as usual, provoke or hurt someone unconsciously, wanna change but again, the pride problems-.-....Yet somehow, start to feel that as like I able to show the softer side, though the speed of the change is very slow.
I guess for the present "me", feeling like wanna be with her anywhere and anytime even knowing that the major problem--communication will be a disaster if we really get together and following her choice for future path may seriously change my future unless I'm interested and available to make the same choice as hers as well or else it will be too unwise to do so.
But watodo? Now seriously, should I say I'm blinded? ARGH

when?

when the 2nd time occurred since last rejection?
when she will really fall on it?
when she and me will really understand and accept each other?
when I will really learn things?
when my heart will really give up?
when will this end since when there's only rejects and hopeless?

though it was a failure, feeling sorry but relieved and happy...

it had been a while since last moment when i got the feel and knew that i did mention about "forever"...however, even though it was a failure but still feeling sorr and that myself is not yet well-prepared since found that the "forever" dissappeared from my heart. maybe finally release my hands and thoughts, kinda relieved. no matter what, i think thing goes till now what it likes, all i have to say is "sorry" for giving words like "forever..." but i think now my steps are more lighter since no more thinking and missing about someone else and i think i can do my own things with more concentration. kinda fine for me^^

Being noober/ more s2p ?? or just...??=.=

these days, or months, mind started stop working, fully blank yet felt so tired...
don't know what i'm thinking yet felt mind had been worn out? urgh...have been cheated by others, either from chit-chat, money usages and so on, don't know what's wrong with me already...sigh..please, wisdom, please don't leave me or my life will end up full of more sadness, anger and dissappointments T.T as for me, please wake up!! is all what i can say to myself, and the rests, hope will be better=.=

End of Chapter 4...then Rise New Sub-Chap...

2nd of july ended the stories of term 4 in DC's life. which consisted of happy, sad, emo, angry stories yet were all experiences of life. now, next monday, new sub-chapter or A.K.A prelude before term 5, new but short will be started. what kind of tides will come this time? how much unforgettable memories will be given this time? hopefully can pass through this safely^^

my sky's still blue and spacious for my freedom even without you

Just go for the route you prefer; no need to think much about my feelings; I'm just one of the swarm of crows and I think maybe only the sky is suitable for me^^ Even wothout you, I won't die yet still survive as always as long the sky is still blue and spacious~ Musics..driving...these things made me feeling that I'm still alive yeah....lala~ we are not meant to stay under the same sky as my sky is not suitable for you which is another kind of troops. Well, let's get my Single's Saga continuing...fly for new stories-ing

juin

(espérons que c'est là que nous commençons notre histoire d'amour)
Juin est le mois un peu spéciale
encore belle mais complexe également inoubliable
eu tellement de plaisir
en savoir plus sur les uns et des autres
sentiment ne peut pas vivre sans toi
ne peut pas voir l'avenir sans toi
le savez-vous? le savez-vous?
C'est soit vous vous sentirez choqué ou vous l'avez connu au début
sent que tout est possible chaque fois d'être avec vous
Pouvez-vous sentir le poids de mes paroles? mes paroles?
il peut ne pas même de vous ne me recevez pas oh
si c'est mal foutu pour moi encore que log vous êtes heureux
Je vais essayer de mon plus beau sourire en face de vous
veux juste que vous savez à savoir
Juin est le genre d'inoubliable pour moi, ouais ouais ouais

forever i love you

hearing insomnia, i hope you know that it's specially for you;
and love is color blind, hope ya don't mind what am i made of;
then hero, a song from deep of my heart all about you;
do you know that? do you know that?
i never thought that i would fall in love love love love;
by just that simple crush crush crush crush;
heartbeating so damn fast fast fast fast;
by just looking your smile smile smile smile!
guess you know who am i talking all about?
i wish i could be your hero baby
i can't promise the best that others can give
but i'll try my best when being with you
kiss away all your pain for your happiness,
bear all your unwanted for your stressless,
no matter what, my love makes me blind now~
hate ya when firstly met ya
yet slowly slowly slowly
cant even take my eye off you
my actions changed dang!
can't move ya out of my mind...seriously
forever forever forever
i love ya baby

thought...

thought that there was a chance yet the reality was vice versa....thought she was the one yet seems i were the only one who thought that...afterall it was just some thoughts....yet still couldn't remove her out from my mid...must i try it until i really get the scar and hurt??

~une chanson simple pour vous~

jamais pensé que j'allais tomber en amour l'amour l'amour l'amour, en regardant sur votre journal en début, figurer, en se demandant comment faites-vous tous les jours~
inconsciemment, étant donc le soin de vous~ vous~ vous~
*[jamais pensé que mon esprit plein de vous vous vous vous~ peut s'il vous plaît me dire comment y faire face? non non non ne Tink vous pouvez m'aider à ce sujet ~$(Parce que j'ai senti que je ne vois pas l'avenir sans toi, Parce que j'ai senti ma vie vraiment besoin de vous~)]
chorus~ Ouais maintenant j'ai dit que je t'aime ~ ~ t'aime vraiment yeah ~ ~ vous aime et que vous devez ~ espérons que vous ne m'en voudrez pas ~ esprit l'esprit
(*)Ouais maintenant j'ai dit que je t'aime ~ ~ t'aime vraiment yeah ~ ~ vous aime et que vous devez ~ espérons que vous ne m'en voudrez pas ~ esprit l'esprit
($)Ouais maintenant j'ai dit que je t'aime ~ ~ t'aime vraiment yeah ~ ~ vous aime et que vous devez ~ espérons que vous ne m'en voudrez pas ~ esprit l'esprit
jamais pensé que j'allais tomber en amour l'amour l'amour l'amour~
jamais pensé que mon esprit plein de vous vous vous vous~.....(fin)
*/$---répéter

Once...ver 2

Once I hate you after short "not bad" 1st image; Once I just wanna tried to wonder your life style; Once I studied all those words; Once I thought I knew another side beyond the point; Once I tried to care like normal; Once I fell in "trap"; Once I felt jealous on him; Once I felt I being tricked; Once I really wanna giv it up; Once...........to be continued??

Once...ver 1.

Once I made you heartbroken; Once I being rude on you; Once I felt pain in heart when doing those things that made you sad; Once I fell on you; Once I can't take my eyes off you; Once kept thinking about you even in the dreams; Once I angry when you cry because of him; Once I thought i had forgotten the feels successfully; Once the feels was still there though not as strong as before when seeing you again; Once wondering if should I try; Once again I being cocky..

crazy

although this week has still 3/4 more days to the end yet feel like this week is kinda a crazy week for me. assignment presentations, assessments etc. which made my mind almost jammed out as don't know wanna say it's a stress or what till these few days slept at damn late time, maybe the latest time i ever been-3/4 a.m. seriously, this late-sleep condition messed up my living style, just somehow like a vampire. haha. furthermore, no matter how busy my brain dealing on planning the assessments or what, it still let someone appeared in mind. feel kinda sienz since i have decided to get my best to erase the image of her in my mind so can more concentrate on something which is more important to future yet the minor actions told different stories. sigh...(to myself: you have no chance or anything else that suit with her...so...STOP THINKING ABOUT HER!!MAN!!) to her: faster get a boyfriend so I can totally GIVE UP and FORGET!!