Really...time passes real fast. Until now, it's few more days to say "bye bye" to term 5 and followed by one-week-term-break then start the last term of diploma---term 6. Guess it's gonna be a challenging term. Can graduate or not will be depended on this coming term 6's final exam. Yet before that, have to survive through this coming final assessment to conclude the term 5's life.
Rewinding the memories, though the life of diploma costs only for 2 and 1/2 years to finish, a short duration I bet, but somehow feel that the life of diploma is more exciting? memoriable? compared to my secondary school life as that costed 6 years. So can know that it doesn't matter how long the moment we're having together but the most matter with us is how we create more memoriable things.
Thus, seriously, feeling freaking sad when comes to think that going to graduate in no longer future since may be not really available to meet the colleagues in future as everyone will have their own paths to go on...
Some of them may continue for further like degree and so on while some of them may straightly start working or travelling more places. As for me, I'm still not really sure what shall I do after this diploma life. Should I continue? Work? Travel to see more things I never see before? I don't really know...
Besides, since the last time freaking long moment of keeping someone in the heart while that someone with the another, I don't feel motivated in my life. Maybe I'm too eager to be loved or concerned. Somehow kinda hate this "me". Yet lately, there's one that I seriously supposed to let go or forget or give up quite a moment ago, I found that she's unforgettable. She used to be the one of my hatred list? But now feel soulless when she absents or etc. Somemore, starting to feel motivated by just looking the smile or wat so ever. Also, don't know since when, feaking scared and worry if she is upset? mad? or...?
However, i guess my characteristics still as usual, provoke or hurt someone unconsciously, wanna change but again, the pride problems-.-....Yet somehow, start to feel that as like I able to show the softer side, though the speed of the change is very slow.
I guess for the present "me", feeling like wanna be with her anywhere and anytime even knowing that the major problem--communication will be a disaster if we really get together and following her choice for future path may seriously change my future unless I'm interested and available to make the same choice as hers as well or else it will be too unwise to do so.
But watodo? Now seriously, should I say I'm blinded? ARGH
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